you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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