that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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