you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
