Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
