Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
