Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
