And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Randomize
