I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
