can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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