Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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