Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
