Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize