It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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