I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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