is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
