Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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