I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
