I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
