There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
