We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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