Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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