Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
