It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
