Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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