I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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