I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize