It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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