Non-Jews are for practice
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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