Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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