i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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