We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
