I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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