Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
