she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize