please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize