she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
