so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
