Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Randomize
