He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
they call him Oral-B. enough said
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
