My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
