He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
