So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
