I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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