Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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