She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
