We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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