We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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