i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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