never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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