whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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