Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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