i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
