drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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