I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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