When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize