this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
