We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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